I have always been troubled by this power G-d has to revivify the dead. It freaks me out, just to be really up front.

But yesterday I had a thought, after all I have been through in the last month, I have been feeling dead inside. Like everything takes 100000 times the effort, I am walking through molasses, and I have no more soul inside. It is hidden behind klippot of extraordinary thickness.

Then yesterday I had a little light go off: the power of the words of G-d are that they can have so many meanings. These exact same words that I used to roll my eyes at suddenly took on a very different meaning: G-d have the love, power, and might to ‘raise’ me from me current ‘death’.

Return in compassion to Your city, Jerusalem, and rest within it as You have said. Rebuild it speedily, and in our days, a structure forever. And may You establish the throne of David within Jerusalem speedily. Blessed are You, Lord, the Builder of Jerusalem.

I woke up early to catch the shade of the wall and not stand out in the sun. Anthony came with me. He wanted to check it out. We got there and I was just about the only non-orthodox man there. I found a table and a couple chairs which I positioned near the wall. Anthony sat in the chair and watched. I then put on my tallis and tefillin and participated in a morning minyan. When it was time to say the Amidah, I went up to the wall and did it. The only strange thing is that my right hand started to shake and wouldn’t stop. I had to put it on the wall to make it stop. A little while later the service was over and we all hung out there for a bit. It is kind of interesting how the men mingle there and just shoot the breeze. I guess it is odd not to have women there but the tenor is changed somehow. I dont know how or why and dont jump down my throat about it. I am just reporting what happened.

I am an expert at just about nothing. I know something about how to maintain a Ducati, run a saltwater fish tank, a bit about philosophy. I even was once pretty well versed in the state of the art in neurological research. There are also the computer systems I have built. But I always have something to learn, lots and lots to learn. Always room for improvement.

But there is something I know about and it is the deep philosophical implication of cyclic tolling and reinvestment that occurs to the human soul as viewed by just about every major religion and some minor ones as well. This is something that I truly enjoy studying.

To this end I am going to correct 2 things I read about so much and hear people say. I am going to lift this from Wikipedia, because, well, it saves me from having to rewrite it.

1. Karma is a sum of all that an individual has done, is currently doing and will do. The results or “fruits” of actions are called karma-phala. Karma is not about retribution, vengeance, punishment or reward. Karma simply deals with what is. The effects of all deeds actively create past, present and future experiences, thus making one responsible for one’s own life, and the pain and joy it brings to others.
2. The process view of release (moksha) from ego-consciousness (ahamkar) through individual responsibility for the totality of action with its inherent karma can be contrasted with the soteriological view of mainstream denominations of Christianity: grace given by faith in the suffering, death and resurrection of a singular savior.

I want you to think about this very carefully: it is saying that karma is all that you ever do and will do in your soul’s life and acceptance of what you have done will release you from ego-eccentricities which are preventing you form obtaining a higher state. That is my redux.

So statements like, oh that is bad karma are just blatant misunderstandings of a centuries old theological tradition.

But MORE IMPORTANTLY this aspect is something that is key to the teaching of Christ (not Christianity as it is see today) and Judaism in a non-orthodox form: reduction of egocentric behaviors creates good.

I am certain we can think of all the ego-driven things we do in our life, like lie to people, lie to ourselves, cheat on trusting others, lie to our families, change our appearance, be deceitful to our coworkers, mislead friends of our intentions, not properly compensate people for their work, take things that do not belong to us, speak ill of others, and on and on and on.

I am going to end this post by quoting something from the Amidah:

My God, keep my tongue and my lips from speaking deceit, and to them that curse me let my soul be silent, and like dust to all…As for those that think evil of [against] me speedily thwart their counsel and destroy their plots…May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight…

As long as I try to live up to my part of this I will be protected from those that try to do me harm through their words and deeds.