If Only I Were Asked
Posted by: Nathan in Ramblings, tags: Bono, Facebook, Idan Bitton - עידן ביטון, ManhattanSo here I am at two weeks out from the mess. I am sitting at a friends house in Manhattan after a long week at work and looking through photos. I was told my facebook photos were scary and out of date. So out cones the laptop where I have some 9000 photos of my life ranging back to the mid 90’s. It started to become really hard as we looked through photos of Idan and me over the last 4 years.
What changed? Where did it go wrong? Who was he then vs. who is he now? What the fuck happened? What happened between this kiss (at left) and this distance and unhappiness on his face in the other photo?
And Jesus it sucks about Bono.
It sucks that he is trying to put this all behind him while I am trying to figure out where my life went.
When I think about how deeply I love him I start to get angry.
But it isn’t like I didn’t know this would happen, I met him when he was 21 and I was 31. I knew he had a lot of growing and changing to do. Even at my age I know that we are still evolving, let alone 21.
I recall my 20’s. Boy do I!
I had assumed we had a bond that would allow up to weather any storm. The things he said to me over the last 4 here were reason enough. I have cards, notes, emails, and memories that attest.
So while he might be working to put his past behind himself. I, again, am missing a guy who I love, who I would forgive anything.
If only I were asked.
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