A Rough Day
Posted by: Nathan in Ramblings, tags: Idan Bitton - עידן ביטון, The Heart, WorkToday has been hard so far. It is strange how certain things just set you off. I was taking care of breaking apart the family plan that used to comprise me, Idan, Katie and my mother.
Part of this was to disconnect Idan’s old phone. I had always imagined this moment so differently. I had imagined one of two things; he would decide to move back to Israel and I would need to turn it off or I would be moving with him and all the phones would need to be terminated.
I never imagined, sitting in my office, feeling like crap, triggered like this.
I am thinking back to how badly I missed him when he would be in Israel and how hard it was to be apart from him. This pain I feel right now is so much more intense, probably because I have to remind myself that he isn’t flying into Newark next week. More likely, we will not speak for a while to come.
The funny thing is that I don’t feel like I wasted 3.5 years on this, like I did some of my other relationships. I had a wonderful time with Idan; we did some cool things, were there for each other, and only in the end did it get bad. Maybe it was so good, when it was, that is why it hurts as bad as it does.
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